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Superabsurd gun story in Press-Enterprise, mandatory requirement on teachers

By   /   February 3, 2013  /   12 Comments

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“A class full of first-graders may look like a ripe target to a madman with a gun, but what if those first-graders were armed to the teeth?”

I just read this superabsurd Op-Ed stories in Press-Enterprise by Mark Muckenfuss entitled “Keeping our gun legacy alive”. But wait, before you condemn me read the story. Some readers and teachers may be shocked.

Rambo MUCKENFUSS is foolhardy on this one.

I understand that Assemblyman Assemblyman Tim Donnelly is doing what he believes is best for California with his newly introduced bill AB 202 — allowing educational funds to train willing teacher and to allow them to carry concealed weapons and have their names kept secret. Granted there are valid reasons pro and con.

However, Mark MUCKENFUSS takes his views on guns and teachers beyond Connelly’s intent of the Assembly Bill 202.

MUCKENFUSS’ hysteria pushes his views full monty to the outer limits of superabsurdity. He writes, “Maybe teachers should be required to pack heat and train for battle.”

MUCKENFUSS goes on to write:

“If teachers aren’t willing to kill for their students, if they can’t leap from their desks and get off four or five rounds before hitting the ground and then empty the rest of the clip as they slide up the aisle between two rows of desks, maybe they don’t belong in the classroom in the first place.” He adds, “We need to renovate the Three Rs: Reading, Writing and Reloading.”

Many teachers would refuse to be combat trained for battle. Some grandmothers and other teachers are just not emotionally wired to be combat ready to kill errant kids. And legislating as a mandatory condition to a teaching credential that all teachers be combat ready like a strikeforce of Special Ops Navy Seals is not only preposterous but it drives our state to the corner of a sweeping police state.

This may even be unconstitutional and it may violate labor laws.

Don’t misunderstand, I am solidly behind the Second Amendment: I believe all that qualify individuals that desire should be allowed to have a conceal and carry permit (with the proper training). I’ve had a civilian conceal and carry permit. And did in fact carry in some situations.

It’s just that I oppose teachers packing heat in the classroom. It’s an emotional overkill response.  I respect gun views unlike mine, and recognize I’ve been overly harsh on Assemblyman Connelly — but MUCKENFUSS’ views are muck, trashy and preposterous.

What the hell is MUCKENFUSS thinking? He even attacks NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre as being in bed with the gun manufactures.

Here’s another MUCKENFUSS brilliant statements:

“Sure, it might be a little difficult to play four square or tetherball when you’ve got your AK strapped across your chest, but buck up. This is America.”

Yes, this IS America. That’s why AKs strapped across teachers chest while on the playground is superabsurd. Besides which, on the playgrounds it’s usually substitute teachers and/or teachers assistants. Are they too to be mandated to kill six year olds?

“… the sooner we can turn those rug rats into little Rambos the better off we’ll be. Think what it would be like if we required our 4-year-olds to consistently hit a silhouetted target in the head at 50 yard…” — Mark Muckenfuss

I have invited Mr. Muckenfull to comment on this story in Cactus Thorns.


Reach Mark Muckenfuss at 951-368-9595 or mmuckenfuss@pe.com
Full story, “Keeping our gun legacy alive”.


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About the author

Branson Hunter

(This story was posted by Cactus Thorn contributor Branson Hunter)

"The ends do not justify the means." If you use illegal mean to accomplish a legal and even desirable result, the good result does not make the bad means you used justifiable.


  1. Dan OBrien Dan OBrien says:

    I’m thinking Branson might have had a hand in writing this one too….

    Republicans and “so-called” conservatives are at it again. They are claiming that the Constitution gives people the right to have guns without the permission of the government. If that were true, then how could New York and Chicago have laws against it?
    We Democrats are sick and tired of Republicans constantly using the Constitution to cover up their true plans, which are to make us all afraid of everyone else. Our great president came from a civilized part of the country where there is strict gun control, and he is only trying to bring the benefits of that more modern way of living to the rest of us. I don’t know the exact statistics, but I’m quite certain that Chicago is a lot safer that Morehead City, when it comes to gun violence.
    But do Republicans and conservatives listen to the voice of reason? No, of course not. All they want to do is whine and complain about how gun control and wealth redistribution violate the Constitution, as if the Constitution were all that great, anyway. There are a lot of things that need to be changed about the Constitution, I’d say, and President Obama needs to change it.
    The Republicans are just trying to stand in the way, because the president is black. They even dared to question whether he was born in this country. I think all this demonstrates that the Constitution needs to be amended when it comes to the qualifications for being president. Right now, it says that a person has to be 35 years old and be a natural born citizen. Well, that is obviously unfair because there are a great many otherwise qualified people who cannot run for president because their mothers had to have a C-section. But because the Constitution was written a hundred years ago, nobody even thought of the discrimination that would result from a doctor having to deliver a baby in this unnatural way. Now that we Democrats are in control of the government, that’s just one more thing we should change in our drive to make life fair.
    Please withhold my name because I don’t want to get crank calls.

    • Updated 6:54 PM (see below)

      Nope, wasn’t me. Actually, there are zero comments to the PE story. Besides, I’m not a Democrat.

      Mark Muckenfuss has written 620 articles in the Press-Enterprise. He seems to be a serious writer rather than writing satire.

      Postscript: I believe Mr. MUCKENFUSS may respond via email or directly to this story to shed light on whether it’s satire or straightforward. Stay tuned. . .

      • I love cowards like I love terrorists that blow up buses. “Come out, come out wherever you are” and add something to this important discussion. Hiding behind a one star is cowardly.

        COWARD: 1.a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc.; a timid or easily intimidated person.

        SYNONYMS: Yellow belly, chicken heart, chicken liver, chicken, craven, deserter, faint-of-heart, gutless, invertebrate, jellyfish, lily liver, malingerer, mouse, pessimist, poltroon, quitter, rabbit, recreant, scaredy shirker, sneak, weakling, white liver, wimp*, yellow belly

        Add something, Punk.

  2. Cora Heiser Cora Heiser says:

    I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say it..I think both articles were written “tongue-in-cheek”.

    • Dan OBrien Dan OBrien says:

      Apparently only one was written tongue and cheek. I’ll leave you to choose which one.

      • desertrider desertrider says:

        Unfortunately I would be willing to bet the person who wrote the letter to the editor was totally serious, and is sure they are one of the most informed of the obama followers, not like those mind numbed robot Republican Rush Limbaugh zealots.
        So smart in fact to believe that they did not have C-sections or Cesarean births when the Constitution was penned.
        Typical of the left to accuse the others of the very thing they are guilty of, and even be completely uninformed while doing that.

    • Terry Elam Terry Elam says:

      …and that’s why I voted for you, or would have. There’s no real story here. Nothing to praise, nothing to criticize, only junk.
      Muckenf#%@*, got it.

  3. Paparrazi Paparrazi says:

    While Branson and I disagree on the Tim Donnelly bill. I respect his concern over teachers having weapons. It’s a valid concern and one that should not be quickly dismissed by either side of the argument. Whether you agree with Tim Donnellys bill or not as least it is something proactive unlike some of the rhetoric anti gun bills being introduced by those that are anti 2nd amendment.

  4. Three things: Email from Muckenfuss; Paparazzi; and satire.

    First, thanks Paparazzi for your comment.
    Satire is an undertaking that is very difficult to master. Usually people should avoid it when possible. That’s what the experts have told us over the years.

    Here is a copy of Mark Muckenfuss’ Email:

    From: Mark Muckenfuss
    9:57 AM (18 hours ago)
    To Branson:

    While most of my writing is news oriented, I do have a Sunday column which I occasionally use as a platform for more opinion-related writing. I imagine there might be people out there who would seriously consider arming young children, but I would question their mental health. Hope that answers your question.

    - END -

  5. Those local folks in the STAR haven’t been so diplomatic about painting you as a nut.

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